The things you take for granted.

Even after all this time I still see the world through rose colored glasses. For the most part people are good with a few bad ones thrown into the mix. But life has a way of ramming reality down your throat. Every now and then I get this wake up call and today is no different.

When I first started my job at the library, I had unreal, romanticized expectations, largely colored by my childhood experiences and my time spent working in the university libraries at college. My version of the library is G-rated. Everyone is neat and tidy, respectful of the materials and each other. Librarians smile at the children first learning to read while another child beams with pride at checking out his/her first library book. Adults come in to read the morning paper or check out the newest crime novel. Unfortunately this library is only found on Sesame Street.

My library although privy to these scenes is also much more raw. Things I did not have to worry about or existed when I was kid are now the norm. The children's washroom has a lock which only the librarians have a key to. All library staff has to be on watch for suspicious activity or patrons who have been banned from the library for any variety of issues (from minor to criminal offenses). And everyone must be especially mindful of children. Like last month, I had to send a child (no more than 10 years old) back to the Children's Library because there are too many dangers posed to a unattended child in the adult part of the library; or even earlier this week when I had to call an adult patron on his behavior (walking around with a unlit cigarette in his mouth) in part because children were present. I've never seen myself as the motherly type, but even now, I see certain situations in much the same way a parent would.

I don't often dwell upon the tangibles of my job while I'm off the clock, but my early morning haze (I woke up this morning in a panic because I couldn't remember what day it was.) was lifted after reading a work email asking all employees to be on guard yet again. Sigh. It's going to be a long day.